It is true now. That every red blooded Kikuyu man has hankered after a Luo woman at least once in his life. It is not a love or desire that can be easily explained away with words. No, it is deeper. It is in the way they step, and their waists wiggle like Nam Lolwe at sunset. Legs that look and feel like a skyscraper in Dubai…endless! A behind that is fuller than a granary in Eldoret after the maize harvest. Skin darker than our politician’s hearts! If her body was regulated by the Traffic Act. It would be an illegality. It has too many curves.
You can imagine walking her home after “dundaing” on a Friday night and getting stopped by 2 cops. They ask you to kindly get into the back of the pickup so they can escort her to the police station. Since you are a man! You try to talk to them, “si mchukue hii 50 Bob.” Akinyi is silent. You can feel the fire growing in her. You have told her to say nothing, because you both know her mouth lacks speed governors. If she speaks, you will very likely spend the weekend in jail. Only to be charged with loitering with intent to go home, on Monday. The cops insist you part with 500 Bob, you only have 300. And that is fare plus breakfast tomorrow. After all, Jaber cannot eat bread with just tea. It must be accompanied by some protein.
The reasonable cop is about to accept the 100, he leaves you with 200 Bob. Until the other cop stops, looks at her intently and shouts, “your waist is illegal bwana!” Before throwing both of you into the car. He is jealous, you know it. The envy of other men. It is the price you pay daily for dating her, you pay gladly. But ooooh when she smiles…Lord! It will be worth it. But remember, she is a proud woman. She does not smile with or for just anyone. It is an honor she bestows on only the rarest of men. When it happens, you are best advised to appreciate and bask in it.
Like her brothers, the Luo woman is born a scholar. She can enunciate Confucian thought just as easily as she can tell you, that there is nothing between your ears. She is a warrior. If she wanted she could trace her lineage directly to the chiefs of Kano.
Akinyi is politically awake. I confess, that some of our religious leaders have warned us to stay far, far away from you. That your curves, meanderings of black goodness dipped in honey will lead a good man off the straight path. But the sight of you fighting for what is right can only be described with one word….Glorious!
But all that means nothing, until a Luo woman loves you back. Repeat after me son of the soil, “I have not been loved until a Luo woman has loved me!” They love as they do all things…passionately! And yes, they are passionate about all things. As the Honorable Member of Parliament for Suba once postulated, “the passion of a Luo woman is only seen at night.” I have paraphrased, kidogo tu.
The way she calls your name is different. You’ve never heard it sound so beautiful before. It’s like water bursting forth from a spring. No longer are you Kariuki ule wa hardware! You are a business man with diverse holdings; one which is an entity that specializes in construction materials. Her mouth adds value, you will be wise to appreciate it.
Wait until she is mad at you. Lord! My ancestors used to say, “inegene riaku ricamaga ta royco!” Meaning, “woman, the noise you make is sweeter than Royco.” They forget you know only 3 words in dholuo. “Pesa otas, rabuon, and nyoyo.” You understand nothing else, but she does look sexy when mad! They are nothing short of Queens.
Akinyi, daughter of the lake. If you ever need to get mad at someone, I am here. I should mention that a Luo woman will definitely upgrade you son of Gikuyu. No longer will you be upset by simple things such as the Lorry with all the warus has broken down at Kinangop. Or that the cops at Kenol have impounded your Probox for the third time this month. No! You will find out finally, that it is not illegal for a Kikuyu man to drive a Mercedes or to wear Italian suits. After all, they did say Nyadhi must be met with Nyadhi. Style with style
Nyar Jaluo, in mwandu, i jaber, ing’ama duong’ ahinya. Erokamano kuom bedie. Erokamano nyaminwa.
Translation – Courtesy Miss. W. Henga
Hello Guys,
Meanwhile, I wrote a book. Rather, I was part of a collective that wrote a book. It’s called, “When a stranger called and other short stories.”
If you would like a copy, fill out your info here, and I will be in touch. https://cjgicheru.com/when-a-stranger-called/
Now I want a Luo Woman!
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Haha. Me too
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Nyar jaluo,, black beauty,, always on point,, well composed,, even with little Education,, she will still move crowds with her confidence and power of attraction
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Indeed, we bless and honor Nyar jaluo
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But you already have one baba!
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”……nyadhi must be met with nyadhi…”
Awuoro, hahaha. Pure pride
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Nice one..wan wan
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Interesting!…
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Ei yawa Cjgicheru “ipako wa”~you have praised us……today I’m sleeping with my shoes on…..
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But you deserve more nyaminwa!Ahero rwakruokni
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Lovely… Totally true….
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Very well written. Good prose. True depiction.
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Damn it !!!You have described Akinyi so well.We are a gem 😍😍😍
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That you are Trish. That you are 🙂
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Good one….
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😜😆
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I’m not Luo but I’m a river Lake Nilote therefore, this applies to us all haha. Good job @Cjgicheru
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It absolutely does 🙂
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nice article
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Thank you Alex
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Hehehehe…..my Akinyi,but do we say yawaa
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Wow! Am proud to be one. Kudos!@Cjgicheru
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Thank you 🙂
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Hahahaha you have forgotten to write they love alcohol like the way Kikuyu woman loves money.
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Awinjo maber, ipako wa…Am feeling good
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We are feeling even better seeing you here Truphen. Quick one… are you “Truphena the student nurse” from that fine book by Cynthia Hunter and Emmanuel Kariuki? ooor Truphena from Mukibi’s Educational Institute for the Sons of African Gentlemen? Please do tell.
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Nyadhi must indeed meet Nyadhi. Okinyo omor ( Akinyi is happy)
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The only River Lake Nilotes are Luos but do we say.😊
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Good one sir Cj,,.
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Thank you Cecil
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Why a kikuyu could be an Indian. Awesome story though.
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Thank you Ashik. Keep reading!
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Good job kaka. This post is so accurate.
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Angusha story yako hapa kaka
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Amazing post. Keep up the good job.
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Thank you brother
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I know want 3.
On for business.
One for party and one for spare!
Si hata gari huwa na spare wheel .
Donge!
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Indeed! lakini ukishikwa usinitaje tafadhali
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This.
“The way she calls your name is different. You’ve never heard it sound so beautiful before. It’s like water bursting forth from a spring. No longer are you Kariuki ule wa hardware! You are a business man with diverse holdings; one which is an entity that specializes in construction materials. Her mouth adds value, you will be wise to appreciate it.”
Don’t hold your breath waiting for “women of the house” to soothe your ego in this manner.
Amazing, amazing post.
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We will continue to pray for you muiretu wa mucie. Someday, who knows a part of you will soothe a brother better than balm
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Eeei all this praise😁😁
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And we will heap even more on them 😍😍😍
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This Akinyi is impressed!! Loved it. 😉😀😀😀😀
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Akinyi, where are you from?
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This is a well thought and written post
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Ostin…I appreciate this!
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I don’t even know what to say. A really nice read.
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Hit the share button. That’s enough for me
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Superlatives !!… Lakini Akinyi should be gazetted!
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Her name should be included in the Head of State commendation list this years!
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Am stuck at Mercedes Benz and ltalian suits, nyathi is met with nyathi heheheeeeee sisemi kitu
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Antonina, we must celebrate exceptional people bwanaa!
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Nyadhi (style) is different from Nyathi (baby)
#thatisall 😊
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Thank you for this 🙂
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Hehehe Antonina Gachoka it is ‘nyadhi is met by nyandhi’ as Gicheru has inscribed it.
Not nyathi, the have different meaning.
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Someone came to my rescue 🙂
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I once told a friend of mine from Kiambu ,that Kikuyu men always desire us women from lake side watuogopa 😂😂😂 .Guess what he’s engaged to Nyar Siaya.
My husband comes from Nyeri 😍
“Repeat after me son of the soil, “I have not been loved until a Luo woman has loved me!” They love as they do all things…passionately! “
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You married Jo’rabuon 😍😍😍 When will you write about that experience?
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Hehehehehehe, one day …
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This is my first read of your work and am loving every detail and the flow
Great work mister
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Hahahaha you have forgotten to write they love alcohol like the way Kikuyu woman loves money.
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Keep reading Oyier, I appreciate you being here
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This is superfantabulous! Good job!
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Awino, thank you. Do check out the other pieces
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Alor bedo nyaluo
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nice one.our lip game though!! how accurate
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Spectacular women!
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A good read
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Thank you, thank you, thank you 🙂
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I am very pleased by the writing. It almost makes angels from devils. Words live than beings.
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Mwambeo, check out the other pieces 🙂
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Eiiiish yawa. You nailed it.
Awesome awesome post!
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Keep reading J. Keep reading
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Wow proud Akinyi here.
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We love you right back Akinyi
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Reblogged this on oyatace and commented:
I am amazed
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Keep reading Oyatace
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Wow wonderful post. Facts
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The truth set us free here.
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Great piece my brother, keep up the good wor🙂😃
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Hapa ni works tu brother
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This is beautiful
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Thank you. Keep reading
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Lovely piece this is.
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Thank you Bella
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Facts only, this is beautiful.
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Great piece. I am your newest subscriber
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Welcome to the blog. Make sure to check out all the previous pieces 🙂
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Saw you on Zumi’s YT channel, and now I’m here. Strange how you’re me in a lot of ways. Keep up the great work!! And sorry I couldn’t vote for you, that sondeka site is dreadful!
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No worries, what’s your name? Welcome to my blog 🙂
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Hahahah nice one
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Keep reading Njugush 🙂
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Simply beautiful…
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Thank you Wang’ombe!
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Am thrown back and forth with laughter. Hilarious!!!!
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Tell your mama about this 🙂
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As a nyar luo, am so humble,
you make me proud …….. Erokamano
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Thank you, I do appreciate it.
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for me nyar Luo am going for a kiuk now! mwaa :l am speechless hehe
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How did it go, did you love the experience?
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I loved this piece
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Are you from the lakeside?
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Haha Nice Piece 🙌🏼🔥 nyathi Yom Poi
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Thank you McOgutu
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Reblogged this on Teenky's Musings.
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Reblogged on The Teenky’s Musings
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